


Pictures Of You

by CanDanAndPhilNot (enbycalhoun)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cute Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Explicit Language, M/M, Mild Blood, Photographer Phil Lester, Punk Phil Lester, Strangers to Lovers, Writer Dan Howell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 01:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18863137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbycalhoun/pseuds/CanDanAndPhilNot
Summary: Punk Phil and (softish) Dan find out they are roommates after a couple stressful encounters.





	Pictures Of You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tinyexistentialhouseplant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyexistentialhouseplant/gifts).



> This is for @Phanfictionevents Spring Fic Exchange. I kind of mixed the two prompts:
> 
> 1.)No rating preference.  
> I would love a University AU with soft (kind of pastel) Dan and Punk Phil. They could meet at a bar before the semester starts and end up taking a class together. Angst and fluff would be rad (if you feel like adding smut go for it) and a happy ending would be solid. Honestly, take any prompt and go wild (feel free to combine them if you'd like).
> 
> 2.)A University AU where Dan and Phil are roommates. Dan is a writing major and Phil is a photography. A mix of angst and fluff would be chill. If Dan wrote poetry that would be pretty cool too. I'm kind of a sucker for University AUs, sorry.
> 
> Honestly I wasn't trying to make it as long as it is, but after getting a solid plot in my head, this all just spilled out lol. Comments are always apperciated <3 I really did want Dan to be a poet but like, i suck at poetry. Ha. Enjoy!
> 
> Thank you too @secretly-a-plant for being the beat beta in the world, follow them on Tumblr and myself @candanandphilnot

Life was chaos. No matter how hard anyone tried to live a “normal" life, destruction and anarchy was right around the corner. That’s what Phil Lester always thought anyway. He grew up in a “normal" home. A trusting father and a hard-working mother. They always tried to give him the world. But no matter how many nine to five's they worked, chaos would always find a way. Straight, ironed out khakis didn’t help extinguish the flames surrounding Phil in his childhood bedroom as he screamed for help at only seven years old. Dinner every evening at six o’clock sharp never silenced the boys who shouted obstinacies at ten year old Phil running home from school as he made desperate attempts to reach the front door before the bullies grabbed his backpack. And quite, Sunday morning church services sure as hell never stopped his creepy neighbor from trying to lure Phil into his house with promises of sweets and cartoons every time he so happened to walk by.

In his teenage years Phil had accepted the pandemonium of life, embraced it really. Instead of allowing the bullies to grab his backpack, he stood his ground and threw punches. Instead of sitting back and watching the government destroy the world he stood in the streets and opposed injustice. Instead of conforming he replaced his ginger bowl cut with a blue Mohawk and replaced his trainers with thick boots to stomp on anyone who tried to tell him otherwise.

After the reality of what life was really about took form in his mind, Phil took it upon himself to expose the corruption of the world. On his sixteenth birthday his parents bought him the camera he had been talking about for months. It was a bulky one with a big, exchangeable lens. With it he started to preserve moments, good and bad, from rallies and ghettos. Around school he had become the punk with the camera, taking pictures of everything. Phil began to even enjoy school because of it, regardless of how many detentions he had to sit through or how many times he had to shoot down offers to join the yearbook committee. It seemed as if the device had become an extra appendage.

Kathy and Nigel had always wanted their son to choose a career path that launched Phil into success. So, when Phil had, unsurprisingly, announced his acceptance into university, Kathy pulled the tall boy into a hug and Nigel clapped a hand on his back.

“Oh sweetie, this is fantastic!” Tears welled up in Kathy's eyes, her hands gripping the tattered fabric of Phil’s black jumper.

“We are so proud of you son.” Nigel smiled, pushing his thick glassed up the bridge of his nose. “What did you decide? Law to follow in my foot steps?”

“Oh! Oh! Please tell me you will be studying medicine! You have such a brilliant mind Philip.” The sparkle in his mum's eyes almost made Phil a bit sad. His parents truly loved him.

“Actually,” Phil cleared his throat and smoothed his blue mohawk up with both hands. He was more nervous than he thought he would be. “I'll be studying photojournalism.” Both parents were silent, their faces frozen as if they were still waiting for Phil to speak. “I plan on taking some classes in pre-law though, Dad.”

“Well…” Nigel’s hand patted Phil’s back again slowly. “That’s, that’s-"

“Wonderful!” Kathy finished, her face still bright and open. “Oh, Philip, we are happy for you! Really dear. Come now, we will go out to dinner to celebrate, yeah?”

A smile spread across Phil’s face and he dragged his tongue across the flat backs of his lip rings, one on either side of his bottom lip. Three years had passed since that night but it was one of his favorite memories. University wasn’t so bad; in fact, it was a hell of a lot better than high school. Only now his parents had stopped dropping so much in his bank account every month and his bills were starting to pile up. When he had moved into his flat a few blocks down from campus, Phil never thought what he would do when his parents stopped supporting him. Work had given him more hours tending the bar but it wasn’t enough to break even unless he wanted to live off of instant noodles for the next two years. Two years living in the dorms wouldn’t kill him. Besides, he probably should meet more people considering his only friends were his coworkers and the regular customers.

Phil was curled up on a small couch in the common room, laptop opened on his lap when his phone vibrated on the cushion next to him.

  
**Unknown:**  
_hi my name is dan. I'm…_

With a sigh Phil picked up the phone and opened the message.

 **Dan:**  
_hi my name is dan. I'm your new roommate. i hope its okay i message you your number was given to me on the paperwork. ill be staying with my cousin for a few days so i won’t be moving in until tuesday._

“Here we go…" Phil whispered to himself. The last two roommates he had at his flat failed miserably. One guy was a preppy, uptight asshole and the other was definitely on drugs. Phil didn’t mind the occasional joint but anyone who picked at their face as much as that guy did was on something fucked up. Hopefully he had better luck with this Dan guy.

 **Phil:**  
_No problem. I finished moving in yesterday. So I’ll be here._

The moment Phil pressed send his chest tightened. That was a dumb text. Maybe he should have thought of something better to say. Maybe _I look forward to meeting you!_ Or something that made him _not_ sound like an ass. But then again, Phil couldn’t help but be an ass sometimes. Maybe it was better if he just didn’t try so there were no expectations.

A few minutes passed before Phil's phone buzzed again interrupting his scrolling through Tumblr.

 **Dan _:_**  
_is there like room for a small arm chair? my nan wants me to take it but I don’t want to take up the whole room and be_ that _person. you know._

Well, at least he was considerate. For now. Without much thought Phil closed his laptop and made his way out of the common room, up the stairway, two flights through the cold dingy hallway to his room. The key stuck a bit until Phil wiggled it and the tumblers turned making an ungodly loud click that was accompanied an annoying creek from the hinges of the door.

Honestly the room wasn’t that bad. Sure, Phil still would have liked to stay in his apartment, but the dorm room was fairly large. Each side of the room had been identical until Phil had arrived the day before, besides the two windows on the left wall. Two twin sized beds with metal frames lined the walls on either side of the door along with small dressers and desks. Straight across from the front door was the bathroom, so the room was equally split. The only difference now was Phil had overthrown the windowless side with two plaid tapestries and dozens of pictures he had taken. The suite cases still had yet to be unpacked.

 **Phil:**  
_Send me a picture of the chair in question._

Phil waited for a reply, setting his laptop down on his desk and began rummaging through his clothes in an attempt to move them to the dresser.

_Bzzz_

**Dan:**  
_here it is featuring my dog collin as a size comparison._

It was a small burgundy arm chair with a tiny dog sat on it.

 **Phil:**  
_It will fit. But you have to bring the dog too._

Minutes passed before Phil’s phone buzzed again.

 **Dan:**  
_collin is ready for university._

The picture was the same except now a suite case sat next to the animal.

Phil let out a laugh as his fingers moved across the screen.

 **Phil:**  
_New tv show. Collin The Dog VS. University._

 **Dan:**  
_he must keep his identity a secret and fit in with the humans._

 **Phil:**  
_What happens when his roommates question his purchases of dog food?_

 **Dan:**  
_tune in and find out I guess._

  
Phil caught himself smiling down at the phone feeling optimistic about Dan. Maybe living in the dorm room wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

* * *

 

  
There was nothing Dan loved more than pulling a jumper, that had just come out of the dryer, over his head and around his shoulders, hugging his arms around himself as the warmth cradled his torso. Except his Nan. The only thing he loved more than fresh laundry was his Nan.

“Daniel! Come here!”

With a sigh, Dan folded a pair of jeans and laid them on a neat pile of clothes on top of the wash, the heat from the pink jumper still lingering.

Dan wasn’t annoyed that his nan had called him, even though he really didn’t like being interrupted. Everything had a system. The way he folded laundry, how he organized his money, even the fridge was organized in a certain way. Every hour to every day was planned accordingly.

“Yes, Nan?” Dan said coming into the kitchen.

The elderly lady was leaned up against the pastel pink counter top with her cell phone in one hand as she haphazardly poked the screen with the other.

“This dang thing keeps freezing on me. Rubbish it is.” She sighed and pushed her large glasses up the bridge of her nose. “All I need to do is call Mrs. Carol and tell her I have that jumper done for her grandson.”

Dan couldn’t help but grin before walking over and gently took the phone out of her hands.

“What are you having for lunch then?” Nan sighed as she opened the fridge and began pulling out plastic containers of leftovers.

“Surprise me.” Dan continued messing with the phone. “Whatever is good.” Growing up on Nan’s cooking had definitely spoiled him. She had that old-fashioned way of cooking that made anyone else’s food taste subpar. Getting any recipes from her was nearly impossible as she never wrote any of them down. “Here’s the problem, Nan. You have fifty-eight tabs open in your browser.” Dan turned the phone to show her.

She set down an empty container, turned on a burner under a pot on the stove and walked back over to him, leaning her head back a bit and adjusting her glasses.

“Dearie I’m not sure what that means. Can you fix it?”

“Yeah.” Dan deleted the tabs and showed her how to do it before handing the phone back to her all while she sported an unsure expression.

“I’ll try to remember that. What will I do without you Daniel? I’ll have to drag you back from university just to fix that dang phone.” Nan laughed and went to stir the food that began boiling over.

A pang of sadness swept through Dan’s gut. This was supposed to be the best time of his life so why did he feel so shitty about leaving his elderly Nan all by herself?

“It’s only a two-hour train ride. I can always come home on the weekends.”

“No, no. You are an adult and you need to start having your own life. I can’t have you taking care of me forever love.” She ran a boney hand through her curly salt and pepper hair.

“But you’ve taken care of me since I was five. The least I could do is take care of you.” Dan opened a cupboard and pulled out two floral patterned bowls to set on the small wooden table with a lacey white cloth draped over it in the center of the room.

“Oh, love.” Nan lowered herself into one of the wooden chairs and pointed towards the stove.

“Oh Nan.” Dan replied as he dished out the hot stew into the two bowls.

“Your mum and dad would be so proud.”

“So you’ve said.” There should have been more emotions flowing through his body, Dan knew that. But his memories of his parents had grown so faint over the years that he couldn’t bring himself to feel much of anything besides the pulse of a small hallow bit inside his chest. Nan was the only parent he had ever known and he was okay with that.

“And I will continue to say so until the day I die.”

There it was. The fear in the unfaltering truth of what was to come. A mass of anxious energy balled up in the pit of his stomach and inched Its way up into his throat making his shoulders stiffen. “Who knows, I could die of stress while I’m at Uni. You never know.”

Dan seen himself as an open-minded person. There wasn’t much he wasn’t willing to try or discuss. Except his Nan’s life expectancy.

Everything in life had a system. Everything was predictable. Except the amount of time that he could still call on his Nan when life became stressful or he just needed a hug. And that scared the living shit out of him.

“Daniel!”

With a start, Dan realized he had been staring at the table, bowl already in the sink with Nan supporting herself on the back of his chair.

“Sorry. I was zoning out.”

“No worries. Now, tomorrow is going to be a long day so make sure you have everything together. I need to call Ms. Carol.”

With that, Nan planted a kiss on the top of Dan’s head, her familiar floral perfume giving him that sense of security he was going to miss.

Maybe it was good for him to get away. As much as he loved his Nan, the thought of finally being on his own was so alluring. That was all him and his friends ever talked about anymore. Okay, maybe ‘friends’ was a stretch. Mostly he just talked to the percussion section of the school band between practices.

That was just it, he thought to himself as he made his way back to the laundry room to finish the chore, he wanted to get out, meet new people. His few hours of free time were always spent the same way. Video games, drums, and writing. Besides a few nights back in fifth year with a girl he dated for a month, there were no parties or late nights, or questionable memories from blurry nights.

Wishful thinking was getting him nowhere. Dan loaded his folded clothes into his wicker laundry basket and headed down the hall to his now almost empty room. The only thing left in its original spot ware his tan sheets, still pulled tight against the mattress from when he made it that morning. It wasn’t as if he had much to pack anyway. Dan was never one for keeping clutter. There were a few sentimental belonging he already had in a box, packed at the bottom of one of his two suitcases.

On instinct, Dan took his basket right to his dresser before stopping himself. Everything he owned was going straight into the suitcase. Change was coming and he had to accept that fact sooner rather than later. It was a constant back and forth in his mind. One side jumped for the joy of freedom and new beginnings. The other side, it jerked and threw itself on the ground like a child just begging to stay at the playground for five more minutes. Change was calling and he had to pick up whether he wanted to or not.

 

* * *

 

Monday. First day of class. Phil turned off his alarm and untangled his legs from the blankets. The beginning of the semester was never too bad. He knew within a few weeks he would grow tired of that alarm, but that morning he felt ready.

The light coming in from the window on the other side of the room made him squint while he shuffled through a pile of clothes on the floor. _This one doesn’t smell bad yet,_ Phil thought as he slipped the band shirt over his head. After yanking up a tight pair of ripped jeans, quickly brushing his teeth and running his hand through his wild, floppy blue Mohawk, he grabbed his backpack and headed out the door.

Already Phil missed his apartment. Usually he would stop in at the coffee shop a few blocks away and get a coffee. And _oh god_ did they have the best coffee. But now the café on campus would have to do. He sure as hell wasn’t waking up earlier than he had to just to get good coffee.

The university definitely wasn’t new, with its dingy carpet or creaky floorboards lining the halls and a faint smell of paint wafting up Phil’s nose every once in awhile. As he approached the small shop inside the main building, he hoped the coffee didn’t reflect the exterior of the cafe.

A few people were queued up already so Phil drew his phone out and started scrolling through Instagram. Slowly the line inched forward and so did the clock. Phil didn’t mind being late but he usually tried to be to class on time. How was he supposed to dismantle the establishment without a good education?

Finally, Phil was almost to the front of the line. The only thing standing between him and the barista was a tall person with curly hair and a pink jumper that was way too bright for how early it was.

“What would you say is the best drink?” The boy questioned.

_God, just get coffee. That’s why you’re here._

“Do you have soy milk?”

 _Just fucking pick something class starts in five minutes_.

“What’s your biggest size cup?”

_I swear if I have to run across the fucking court yard just to be late…_

“And how much is that?”

“Jesus Christ.” Phil sighed, stepping around the _fucking indecisive_ ass hat. “Two large carmel macchiatos. To go.” He pulled out his wallet and handed the barista money.

“Umm, excuse me? It’s my turn.”

Phil turned to look at the boy. He looked sweet even if he was making Phil late. Even a smooth face and pink lips weren’t enough to snuff out Phil’s irritation.

“Yeah, well you’re going to make me late and I for one, value my education.”

The boy’s eyebrows shot up, his mouth fell open and he was quiet for a few seconds. “You don’t have to be rude.” His words were pronounced in such a posh way it made Phil cringe a bit. And think of Winnie The Pooh.

“Oh,” Phil laughed and placed a hand on his chest, “I’m not being rude. I’m being truthful.”

The barista set down two paper cups which Phil grabbed before the boy could, and held one out to him.

“You’re welcome for the coffee. I’ll make sure to be earlier tomorrow so I don’t get stuck behind you again.” Phil left without waiting for a response.

Walking, if not almost running, Phil made his way across the courtyard, the late summer heat starting to warm the air after a chilly night. Hot coffee splashing out of the cup, scolding his hands made him curse that guy. Coffee was coffee for fucks sake.

With seconds to spare Phil walked into the small classroom as the professor began to speak. There was a prompt on the chalkboard at the front of the room for them to start with. Writing was never Phil’s niche but he thought it might help him wake up a bit as the reminisce of sleep still lingered in his decaffeinated body. He took a seat at the only available table.

As he finished digging a pen and note pad out of his bag, the door behind him swung open.

“You’re late.” The elderly professor said.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

“I’m sorry sir. It won’t happen again.” The boy in the pink jumper said taking the only open seat to the right of Phil.

Phil tried to ignore the guy next to him and focus on the prompt. He wasn’t going to let this guy ruin his day.

Half way through writing a word down, the boy’s elbow bumped Phil’s making him drag the pen across the page.

“Really?” Phil looked over at him. The fucker had to be left handed.

“Sorry.” He mouthed and a faint pink blush covered his cheeks.

A few seconds passed and Phil’s arm bumped again, making him draw yet another line over his words.

“Fucking switch seats with me. I’m not doing this.”

“Look I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t mean to.” The tone in the boy’s voice was borderline sarcastic. At least that’s how it sounded to Phil.

After switching seats Phil didn’t have much trouble with the boy, thank god. Finally, the class ended and Phil was off to tackle the rest of the day, which as far as first days go, went pretty well. The long line of classes had left him drained, only for him to turn around to go to work that evening at the bar.

Mac’s had become like a second home to Phil. The owner, surprisingly named Mac, had always paid them a decent wage and never went with the lame ass phrase of ‘The Customer is Always Right.’ The bartenders were in charge and if you didn’t like it, you could go across the street to the posh pub.

The atmosphere was something Phil relished in. As soon as he yanked open the heavy led door, the smell of fried food, fluorescents off the neon signs, and heavy punk music made him feel safe.

“Philly!”

“Oi!” Phil lifted the door to get behind the bar and Till, the head chef, waved through the order window.

“How was your first day of class?” Till leaned into the window, his black liberty spikes hitting the frame.

“It was fine.”

“Good. What’d ya want to eat tonight. I’ll get it started.” His thick German accent sometimes make it hard for Phil to understand him, but he didn’t care. Till always took care of him. Even if he was prone to breaking down half way through a rush, always threatening to quit yet never actually doing so.

Monday evenings were always slow, which was a relief for Phil. After a long day at school all he wanted to do was sip on a beer and chat with the regulars.

The bell over the door chimed while Phil filled up an old man’s glass, thankful for a little more business.

“I did it again Phil.”

He turned around from the tap to see Charlotte, a small woman who had been a regular for a few months. For the past few weeks her wild, curly hair had been a mess of blue tangles that framed her tattooed temples. Before that it had been several different colors. Now it was a striking neon green.

“It looks lovely Charlotte. Wanna picture?”

“You know I do.” She laughed and began fixing her hair.

Once Mac had found out about Phil’s photography, he offered Phil the wall behind the bar as a place to hang pictures. That’s when Phil bought his first polaroid. That’s also when Phil started connecting with his patrons more. Charlotte was one of many people displayed above the liquor, but unlike the others, she had a whole corner dedicated to the colors of her hair.

Phil dug the chunky old camera out of his bag and turned back to the girl. “Ready?” He positioned the camera at her and looked through the view finder.

He snapped the picture and the film rolled out under his hands.

Charlotte snatched the paper and started shaking it. “You know these pictures would look better if you let me take off my top.”

“You’re not at work. And I don’t want to see them anyway.” Phil shot back, grabbed a glass for her drink and started mixing different liquors.

“You always shoot me down Phil. A handsome guy like you…”

Phil sat her drink down harder than he planned to, but she never gave up. “I’m gay, Charlotte. I’ll keep turning you down until the day you grow a dick.”

“So you’ve said.” A smile spread across her face showing off the wide gap between her teeth. “You never know with science these days.”

“Fuck off.” Phil felt himself smile back at her. That’s what he liked about the woman, he could be the biggest ass and she would just smile and think of something smart to throw back at him.

The more Phil sipped on his beer the faster the night seemed to go, people coming and going, until it was time to clock out. It was starting to get late and the thought of class was in the back of Phil's mind. He had to get up early to make sure he got to the café before that guy. Maybe Phil was a little hard on him. Maybe he should apologize. _I wont but at least I thought about it._

After a short walk, Phil made it back to his building where he climbed the dingy stairs and wiggled his key in the lock until he got the knob to turn. A shower was on Phil’s mind but he didn’t have the energy, so he sat on the edge of his bed looking at the empty side of the room. He almost forgot that tomorrow he would have some other guy living with him. The company would be nice.

 **Phil:**  
_Hey, sorry if I came off as a bit of an ass when you texted me before. I’m actually really looking forward to meeting you. See you tomorrow_.

Phil pressed send before he could rethink his impulse. Quickly he sent another text with a smiley face. _Okay Phil, now you’ve over stepped._ A yawn escaped Phil’s mouth as he kicked off his shoes and jeans. He plugged his phone into the charger and laid it under his pillow.

_Bzzz_

**Dan:**  
_no worries. im excited to meet you too : ) see you tomorrow roomie_.

A second passed before another message came through.

 **Dan:**  
_sorry that was really fucking lame. roomie? like who says that._

 **Phil:**  
_You do apparently. I say dumb shit all the time. If we both just keep lowering the standards either of us are trying to live up to, I think we both will be spared disappointment tomorrow. Night…roomie._

 **Dan:**  
_: ) night_

That night Phil fell asleep faster than he thought he would.

 

* * *

 

  
Phil thought it would take a few weeks for him to begin to hate the sound of his alarm. He was wrong. They day before had worn him out enough that when his first alarm went off, he picked up his phone and hit the snooze button. After the third alarm sounded, suddenly he remembered why he had set it so early. _Fucking café guy_. At the thought of the boy in the pink sweater, Phil scrambled around his room finding clean clothes and his bag, before bolting out the door.

With luck on his side, Phil arrived at the café before a line could form. The barista called his name as a few other students had arrived. _Suckers_ , he thought slipping out of the building. Just as he was turning around to look back through the door, a tall figure bumped into him, smashing his paper cup to his chest. Hot coffee splashed up his white shirt and up under his chin.

“What the _fuck_!” Phil’s skin burned.

Like a deer in headlights, the boy from the day prior stood in front of Phil, mouth wide and eyes even wider. “I’m- oh god I’m so sorry.” He breathed.

“ _You_ …you _fucking idiot_!” Phil screamed.

The boy flinched, “I’m sorry. I- I didn’t see you.”

“Well no shit! Maybe you need to watch where you’re fucking walking next time?” Anger rose up into Phil’s chest. The boy was obviously sorry and Phil could see that it was genuine, but he couldn’t stop making the boy flinch and feel even worse. “I swear to god,” He shoved a coffee covered finger in the boys face, “the next time you inconvenience me I’m going to knock you the fuck out. Understand?”

Wide brown eyes locked with Phil’s, flickering back and forth and the boy’s arms had come up in a defensive barricade around his chest, but he remained silent.

“ _Understand_?” Phil poked his finger closer to the boy’s face and threw the almost empty cup on the ground making him step back.

“Y-yes. Sorry.” Quickly the boy moved around Phil and in through the door, leaving Phil damp, irritated and feeling slightly guilty for being so hard on him.

Phil grumbled under his breath as he picked the cup off the ground and found a close by trash can to throw it in. He headed to class, his chest heaving and his head aching. Caffeine withdrawal was kicking in and Phil was beyond over the day already. The room was again filled besides the table in the back making his irritation grow. He sat down and laid his head on his bag, burying his face in the rough canvas fabric.

The seat beside him scrapped on the ground as the professor began to speak. Phil didn’t even want to look at the kid next to him in fear of his anger flaring up again. Just the sight of curly brown hair in his peripherals made his chest tighten.

“You will have a project this semester that will be worth sixty-five percent of your grade.” The old man at the front of the room was saying. “Yes, I know that’s a significant chunk. But no worries, you will have help. You and another student will be creating a local newspaper that covers the three months you’ll be in my class.”

Phil groaned internally. The only thing he hated more than a large project, was a large _group_ project. It seemed that he always got stuck with the person who never wanted to work but did want to put their name on the credit.

“Lucky for you all, you’ve already picked your partners. As you can see, your tables have you sectioned off into couples.” Two guys sitting in front of Phil high-fived each other. “I will send out an email tonight regarding the details of this project. If you need any help do not hesitate to ask after class or in an email. For now, we will turn to something else.”

 _Fuck_. Phil always tried to stay positive, he really did, but the cynicism of reality always won. He was stuck with this guy for a whole semester. Research and photography were his strong suits, but writing the articles? Phil silently prayed to any higher power that this guy could write.

The professor continued his lecture and gave out reading assignments for the night, all while Phil was trying to think of a way to avoid conversing with the guy next to him. He just didn’t want to deal with it. All he wanted to do was ignore the guy and do the project himself. _Good luck with those articles_ … Phil hated this.

“So, hi…”

Phil had stood and started to collect his belongings when the boy spoke up softly.

“What?” Phil snapped.

“I was just umm.... wondering if maybe we should like, exchange numbers or something?” The boy had his books pressed up against his chest and his face was taunt with tension.

“Look kid,” Phil sighed and hauled his bag over his shoulder, “I’m really not into this today. You’ve pissed me off enough. Maybe tomorrow.” He walked away without letting the boy respond. Phil only had a couple of classes that day until he had to go to work. At least the bar felt easier, less stressful.

The other classes went by in a blur, letting Phil disassociate until he went back to the dorm to kill an hour and change his stained shirt before he had to get to work. At the bottom of the stairs that led up to the room sat a vaguely familiar arm chair.

Phil pulled out his phone to text Dan, but he already beat Phil to the punchline.

 **Dan:**  
_hey so I didnt realize our room was on the third floor…everything else is up there. if you’re going to be around later tonight I could use a hand getting it up there. Usually im a do-it-yourself kinda lad but its fucking heavy._

_It can’t be that heavy._

Without much effort, Phil grabbed the underside of the chair and started moving up the steps. The walk definitely took some energy out of him but Phil laughed to himself as he sat the chair in their room, in the corner between Dan’s desk and the bathroom door. He took out his phone and took a picture of the chair in its new spot.

 **Phil:**  
_Not to be a dick but it wasn’t that heavy mate._

The only difference Phil noticed, was a tan duvet was now pulled tight over the bed setting under the window, although something felt off. Curiously, Phil pulled a drawer open on Dan’s dresser. The clothes were folded into neat squares and a fresh scent of lavender assaulted Phil’s nose. At least he was clean. Unlike himself. That’s when it hit him. All of Phil’s clothes that had been strewn across the floor were folded into neat little piles that sat on his bed that was half made, as if whoever made it didn’t really want to but tried anyway.

 **Phil:**  
_Did you fold my clothes? And try to make my bed?_

Different emotions flooded through Phil. He was angry that someone had touched his belongings, but on the other hand he felt…thankful? But he felt a bit guilty too. Maybe he should have cleaned before Dan showed up. In his flat he was use to being able to keep his room the way he wanted. Or rather the way it ended up, because who cared if his room was a mess? Communal areas were different, which meant he really should have cleaned up. His room was now shared and maybe he could _not_ be a dick about it. Dan seemed nice enough.

  
**Dan:**  
_yeah…umm sorry about that. I thought maybe you didn’t have time with classes starting and stuff. sorry if I crossed a line._

  
**Phil:**  
_It’s fine really. Consider us even since I brought the chair up for you. I really should have cleaned before you showed up. I promise I’m not disgusting all the time lol_

 **Dan:**  
_I would promise that im not a clean freak all the time…but i am lol sorry. ill be back around 8 or so. then i guess we can finally meet. is it weird that im really excited? i don’t really have any friends yet so it will be nice knowing someone around here._

Not for the first time while texting Dan, Phil felt himself smile.

 **Phil:**  
_I’m excited too : ) most of my friends are my coworkers so it will be nice to have a friend outside of that. I don’t get off until 9 so I guess I’ll see you when I get there._

 **Dan:**  
_see you soon roomie : )_

**Phil:**

_You’re so lame_

He paused and looked down at his phone. Then sent another text.

 **Phil:**  
_Don’t worry. I like it._

Was that flirty? He didn’t even know this guy. Phil pushed his feelings aside and started getting ready for work.

 

* * *

 

 

Tuesday nights weren’t supposed to be busy. But chaos was an unexpected visitor that didn’t care how tired Phil was. Moving back and forth across the bar all night made his legs ache and his head throbbed with the orders of dozens of people swarming his mind. He hoped Dan wasn’t up for staying awake and getting to know each other. Phil really did want to make an effort with the guy, but as he was approaching their dorm room, all he could think about was crawling into bed before he had to deal with his dipshit partner in the morning.

The halls were quiet besides the faint sound of what sounded like Muse coming from a room. Actually, that was his room. At least Dan had decent taste in music.

The door was locked, so Phil giggled the key into the hole and opened the door.

“What the fuck are you doing in my room?”

The boy with the curly brown hair and a knack for pissing Phil off was sitting at Dan’s desk, laptop open and a shocked look on his face as if he’d seen a ghost.

The air was so thick with tension Phil felt like he could cut it with an old rusty butter knife.

“Phil…” the boy choked out, still not moving from his seat.

“Fuck. Dan?”

“Umm…”

“Of all people.” Phil almost yelled.

Dan stood from his chair, and for the first time Phil noticed how tall he actually was. The lighting from Dan’s desk lamp gave his face an orange glow that accentuated his soft jaw line.

“Look, I’m sorry.”

Anger flared up, igniting Phil, making him feel like his blood was boiling. Life couldn’t just give him an easy out? Once?

“For what? Being a dipshit?”

“Okay, that was uncalled for.” Dan’s voice was small and his face turned red.

“You make me late, mess up my notes, _then_ you ruin one of my shirts because you can’t watch where the _fuck_ you're walking. And of course, I get stuck having to do a group project with you for _three fucking months_. But now here it is!” Phil threw his arms out, motioning to the rest of the room. “The cherry on top! I have to _live_ with you. Fan- _fucking_ -tastic!”

At that point Dan’s face had become a deep crimson and his eyes seemed to well up as if he were about to cry.

“You know what. I can’t deal with this right now.” Phil ripped his phone charger out of the wall and made his way to the bathroom, Dan jumping out of his way.

“So you’re not even going to try? I told you I was sorry. Everyone makes mistakes you know. Can’t we just start over?” Dan begged in his posh accent that for some reason or another, made Phil even more livid.

“Maybe,” He grabbed his tooth brush and toothpaste and went back out to face his new roommate, “but I’ve had a shitty past few days, mostly because of you, and I’m not fucking doing this tonight. Fuck. _Off_.”

Phil left feeling mostly anger, but beneath that, guilt and embarrassment. There were so many other ways he could have handled that, he knew, but controlling his anger was something he had to work on, and that wasn’t happening right now. All he wanted to do was blast angry music, and just feel it. That’s what he did all night, laying on a couch in the common room, ear buds tight in his ear. Tomorrow he would calm down and try to be rational. Maybe.

 

* * *

 

  
“Yeah, everything’s going well.”

“And your classes love? Are you making any friends yet?”

Nan really knew how to push a subject. Dan had become use to spending his lunch time in the café, eating shitty food and talking to Nan. She was rightfully worried; Dan just didn’t want her to be. Every question she threw at him he would respond, “Yeah it’s going well. I like my classes. My room mate is _great_.” It was all lies but he couldn’t let sweet old Nan know that he was one more disaster away from dropping out and becoming a hermit back at her house.

Things with Phil didn’t start off great, but Dan was trying. _Really_ trying. Phil was just…an ass. That was such a strong word for someone but no matter how much Dan tried to be nice and open, Phil would respond with a negative attitude.

“Well, William is here to take me to lunch so I will talk to you soon okay Daniel? Please don’t hesitate to ring me if you need anything. And don’t forget your cousin Charlie is just a few miles away.”

“Sure thing Nan. Please take care of yourself. I love you.”

“I love you too dearie. Bye now.”

The mush sitting on a red plastic tray that was suppose to be lasagna stared up at Dan. That’s how he felt at that moment. Mush. All of his classes were going well (even if he was drowning in homework) except one. Once Phil had gotten over his initial temper tantrum, they finally came to a conclusion on who was going to do what for the project. Or rather Phil came to him their second night in the dorm together with two ideas for this month’s articles, and told Dan that he would return with the research and pictures and Dan would write the actual item.

Dan wanted to argue, since that left Dan’s ideas to go in the trash, but he wasn’t going to fight it. Peace was all Dan wanted between them, but he also wasn’t going to sit back and let Phil take a hold of basically the whole project. There was a story Dan was dying to write about one of the local libraries recently burning to the ground. That sounded better than having to write about some controversy on the local mayor. They didn’t even have that much power, who cared if they were having an affair or whatever it was. He would simply take the information that Phil would give to him, and toss one of them aside, giving room for Dan’s article.

“Dan! Come on, I have to get to class!”

Dan let out a groan. Oliver never wanted to finish the rest of his shift, but he couldn’t blame him. Washing trays wasn’t the best job but it helped him eat so Dan couldn’t complain that much. Also, Oliver was in his math class, and Dan hated math. So, Dan decided to pick up some of his hours if he helped Dan with his studies.

So far university had not been what Dan was expecting. For some reason Dan had thought by his second week he would have more than a few acquaintances, maybe even a friend he could go out and do something fun with. All he had was a math tutor and a room mate that hated him.

“Alright, go ahead.” Dan came into the side room that was considered an office when it was really just a closet with a computer and two metal chairs.

“Thanks mate.” Oliver said hanging up his damp apron. “We still on for tonight?”

“Yeah, just text me before you come over. I should be there.” Dan dropped his bag beside the computer desk and began to fasten his own apron. “I will warn you though, my room mate's a twat.”

“That’s fine.” The ginger haired boy slung a bag over his shoulder and leaned up against the door frame. “We will just ignore him, yeah?” Oliver was nice. He had a smile that instantly made Dan do the same. Phil hadn’t smiled once since they’d met over a week ago. “See you then.” Before leaving, the boy reached out and touched Dan’s arm.

The day dragged on like a turtle in winter. All Dan could think about was hanging out with Oliver. Maybe after they studied Dan would offer him to go grab something to eat. Maybe make a friend. That thought made his day a little better, up until he had to go back to his room.

Thursday’s were the worst, he learned. Phil had off work and only one class, which meant that he was most likely up there, sitting on his unmade bed, under that ungodly collage of random pictures and his clothes everywhere. How hard was it to keep your socks and pants in their respectful places?

Dan took a deep breath in and held it as he stared at their door. After a few seconds he let the air escape his lungs, turned the knob and pushed. He’d hadn’t expected the it to be locked and smashed his nose on the hardwood of the door.

“Fuck…” With a quick look down the hall on either side of him just to make sure no one had seen his embarrassing move, he unlocked the door and slipped in.

God, it was like the room had been split in half with heaven on the left and hell on the right. Everything on Dan’s side was neat and perfect; everything was in its place. Looking at Phil’s side almost gave Dan an anxiety attack. It was chaos. With the room to himself, Dan set his bag on his desk and took the opportunity to look at all of Phil’s pictures. Every picture was unique, some were printed off a computer on paper, some were polaroid’s, and some were proper pictures you would get from school or a professional.

There were photos of nature and buildings with murals but most of them were people. The one that stuck out the most was one of a younger Phil. His mohawk was much smaller and his features were underdeveloped, and there was another boy kissing his jaw. The Phil in the picture looked nothing like the Phil Dan knew. This boy looked happy and care free.

As curious as Dan was to look at the other pictures, the last thing he wanted was to have Phil walk in and see Dan on his side of the room. Back over on Dan’s side, he picked up his bag and began setting up his desk so he could begin working on their project. Dan had his day planned out to perfection and needed to get some work done before Oliver was to come over.

Quickly Dan got lost in his work. There was something about writing that set him free. Being able to just make words appear in a specific order to not only make sense but to make any reader feel gave Dan such a euphoric feeling. It gave him power.

Sometime between paragraphs and the clicking of the keys the door opened, making Dan’s whole body stiffen. He paused for just a second, listening to the shuffling around the room before continuing his work. This was how they spent most of their time together, in complete silence. If Phil hadn’t made his disdain for Dan so apparent, maybe he would try to strike up a conversation. But that just felt out of the question. He wished there was some way to show Phil he was truly sorry for the first couple of days, but no matter how Dan tried to convey that, Phil just didn’t seem to care. _Maybe that’s why he doesn’t have any friends…_

“What’s that?”

Dan bit his lip and took a deep breath before turning around in his chair. “What’s what?”

“ _That_. What is that you’re writing?” Phil stood only a foot behind Dan’s chair, his hair in full mohawk mode. Dan wasn’t sure if he should be impressed by the height of his hair or laugh at the almost comedic style.

“Our project? You know, the one you _told_ me to write?” He didn’t have to add the sarcasm to his tone but Dan couldn’t help himself.

Phil just looked at him with a blank expression. The guy had beautiful eyes for having such an ugly personality, Dan thought.

“No. I told you to write about the Lord Mayor, not…what the fuck is this?” In sharp movements, Phil grabbed his chair from the other side of the room and sat down next to Dan, grabbing the laptop and pulling it in front of him. “A library?”

“Well this is our project. And I wanted to put my own story in. Is that a problem?”

“If you wanted your own story you could have just said something.” Phil began scrolling through the half-written article and clicking between the different tabs of research, his leg pressed up against Dan’s which sent a weird feeling up into his gut.

“Could I?” Dan laughed. “Because you didn’t really give me any room to argue.”

“This isn’t about arguing. But I want this done right. Are you seriously using Wikipedia as a source? Dan, you can’t. See, this is why I told you I would do the research. It’s something I’m good at.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have been so closed off and maybe talked to me about this. I want this done right too.” Dan could feel his cheeks heating up. Maybe he wasn’t the best with getting information but damn it, he wanted a part in this.

“Okay look,” Phil leaned back in his chair, “I’m sorry okay? I know I can be stubborn. I’m working on that.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell?”

“Oi.”

“You’re not making this easy on me you know?”

“Well life isn’t easy. Get used to it.”

For what felt for the first time, Dan really looked at Phil. His clothes were layered and tattered and his face was smooth under his sharp features. Phil was kind of attractive. In a sarcastic asshole type of way. Dan was always a sucker for snake bites anyway. _Now’s not the time to be checking out your roommate Dan._

“Okay,” Phil leaned forward again getting too close to Dan to give him room to think, “We can do your story but god, please let me help?”

“Deal. But can you try to be less of an ass about it?”

Surprisingly, Phil laughed, the first smile Dan had seen on the boy. “I’m an ass Dan. I don’t try to be but it always seems to come out that way. You’ll just have to learn how to be an ass back, mate.”

A knock on the door interrupted Dan’s reply.

“Who the hell is knocking on our door?” Phil got up and started towards it.

“Oh! That’s Oliver, my tutor.” Dan started closing tabs on his computer and reorganizing his books and folders.

“It’s only the second week and you have a tutor?” Phil whispered before opening to door and letting the redhead in.

Phil retreated to his side of the room being so quiet that Dan had almost forgotten he was there as Oliver and him went thorough textbooks and did practice problems. Oliver was so nice and calm compared to Phil’s harsh persona. Which is what Dan felt all that was about. Like a crab having a hard shell to protect the fragile insides.

Before Dan knew it, the day was turning into night and he was starting to wear thin. As much as he enjoyed Oliver’s company, he didn’t feel like studying anymore. Earlier Dan had wanted to maybe go out and get food with Oliver, be more extroverted, but now all he wanted to do was order pizza and sleep.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at shift change.” Dan said standing up and walking Oliver to the door.

“Actually,” Oliver hesitated in the threshold, “I was going to see if maybe you wanted to go grab dinner with me?”

At least Dan wasn’t the only one who wanted to be friends. “I would but I’m exhausted. Maybe next time?”

“I would really like that.” Oliver replied and placed a hand on Dan’s arm again like he had earlier that day, before waving goodbye and heading down the hall.

As Dan shut the door, he heard Phil let out a low chuckle.

“What?” Dan turned to face his roommate who was lounged on his messy bed, headphones in.

“He was hitting on you.”

“What?” Dan squeaked. “No, he wasn’t.”

Phil sat up and pulled his earbuds out. “You really couldn’t see that? I could have been flirting with you all this time and you would have overlooked me. You could have broken my heart Dan.”

“Shut up.” Dan laid down on his bed and drew his phone out of his pocket.

“That’s all you’ve got? 'Shut up.'”

“I’m not really in the mood mate.” Dan just wanted to scroll through his social media’s and forget about the conversation.

  
“Alright.” Phil laid back down in his bed.

  
Scrolling through Tumblr was mind numbing at first until Dan's mind started to wonder. Oliver did tend to stare at him a lot. And there was that arm touching thing he did.

“Phil?” Dan piped up, laying his phone down on his chest just to stare up at the cracked ceiling.

“What?”

“Do you really think Oliver was flirting with me?”

“No.”

Dan rolled over to look at Phil who was also laying down and looking over at him. “But you said he was.”

“Yeah, I _know_ he was. I don’t think he was. I can spot a gay guy flirting from a mile away. Trust me.”

“Why should I trust you?” Dan surprised himself by saying.

“Well,” Phil said thoughtfully, “You don’t really have any reason to trust me. But I am gay. And I’ve had a lot of guys flirt with me at the bar where I work. So, I guess there's that.”

“Are you always so forthcoming?”

“Do you always ask so many questions?” Phil shot back.

“I take that as a yes.” Dan mumbled, picking his phone back up and started navigating the internet looking for a place that would bring pizza to him.

Silence fell between them. After Dan had ordered his food Phil stood up and left without any explanation. The whole evening had Dan in a strange sort of mood. It was nice that Phil and himself were on speaking terms but it made Dan feel a bit exposed. When he was getting the silent treatment, it was like he lived alone, only having to deal with sharing the bathroom. Now Dan would have to step out of his comfort zone. He would have to step over the line, figuratively and quite literally, allowing Phil to step across the divide in the room so that maybe their project wouldn’t go to shit. Maybe this was a good thing. Dan would just have to find that out the hard way.

 

* * *

 

 

He needed alcohol. It definitely wasn’t a solution but goddamn it, Phil was tense and he needed something to loosen his body. The day after finding out café guy was actually Dan; Phil knew he had embarrassed himself by freaking out on the guy. Over the next day he had calmed down, but still couldn’t humble himself enough to apologize. He did feel bad, just not enough to embarrass himself again.

Dan was the kind of person Phil hated. He was organized and well-spoken in a world where none of that mattered, but in a way, Phil found it endearing. Which he despised. Phil tried to tell himself that he only thought this way because Dan was attractive. There was no denying that Dan was the type of guy Phil would have a one-night stand with based solely on his looks.

Over the past week Phil watched as Dan woke up every morning, not once hitting the snooze button, starting a routine that never faltered. Every night he would pull clothing out for the next day, laying it on his dresser in a neat stack next to his books that were always stacked in the same way, the spines perfectly aligned. Phil hated the perfectionism but loved the way Dan looked as he was studying, his face focused and his dimple popping out ever so slightly.

But what Phil hated the most was how every other evening while Dan was on the phone with his nan, he always heard the boy say, “Yes Nan, Phil and I are getting along fine. He’s been kind.” And Phil loathed those words. It was such a blatant lie that the first time Phil had heard Dan spew that phrase, he almost protested. He let it go. Phil didn’t want to be the one to tell an old lady that her grandson was being treated like shit.

At this point Phil felt like he needed to do better. He needed to stop being such a prick to someone he barely knew. Maybe the alcohol would help. Phil made his way to the liquor store and bought a pint of whiskey. Being outside in the early autumn air had helped clear his head a bit. There was still a string of emotions that had Phil in a haze as he walked down the street with his bottle of booze, the sun almost set behind the buildings of the town.

Before climbing the old stairs that led to the room, Phil cracked open the bottle of whiskey and took a swig that made a shiver flow over his spine. By the time he reached the top of the stairs and faced their door, he could feel the warm alcohol in the pit of his stomach.

“Hey.” Phil said as he entered the room.

Dan was sitting in his arm chair, a paper plate on his lap and a closed pizza box sitting in front of him on his desk.

“Hi.”

“I, umm, do you want some?” Phil held out the bottle.

“Ugh, sure. Do you want some pizza?”

“Yeah, why not?”

The knot in his stomach told Phil not to eat, but he walked over, opened the pizza box and grabbed a slice anyway.

“Plate?” Dan asked, pulling a clean paper plate from under his that still had half a slice on it.

“Nah, I’m good.” Phil sat the whiskey down next to the pizza box and went for a piece. “What kind is this?”

“It’s called the Sizzler…it’s really good. But are you sure you don’t need a plate?”

“Why would I need a plate when I have two hands to hold it for me?” Phil sat down in Dan’s computer chair and took a bite of pizza. “This is really fucking good.”

“It’s really greasy, that’s why you should probably have a plate. And a napkin too.”

“That’s really unnecessary.” Phil replied; his mouth stuffed.

“What are you going to do with your greasy hands then?” Dan asked, sounding as if he had caught Phil at a cross roads.

Phil held up his right hand and wiggled his fingers, then took it and wiped it on his trousers.

“You'll ruin your jeans!” Dan scoffed, sounding highly offended.

“Don’t worry, I’ll wash them.”

“But, stains!”

“Will I still be able to wear them?”

Dan hesitated. “Ugh, yeah?”

“Then they’re not ruined!” Phil laughed and grabbed his bottle of whiskey, held the bottle between his legs and unscrewed the cap, throwing it on the desk. “Now help me drink this you twat.” He took a long drink before he scooched forward so his knees bumped into Dan’s and held out the bottle.

The look on Dan’s face made Phil want to laugh even harder. He just looked so pure and confused.

“What? Scared of my germs?” Phil pushed the bottle towards the boy.

"No!" Dan swiped the bottle and took the smallest sip before scrunching his face up and shuttering.

“Oh, come one! That was barely a sip!”

Their eyes met. Dan’s said _bet_.

This time Dan’s sip turned into a full-on swig that soured his expression to the point Phil thought the boy might vomit.

“Fuck me…” Dan mumbled, wiping a napkin across his mouth.

“Maybe after we finish this bottle.” Phil grabbed the container and took another drink.

A choked sound came from Dan’s throat. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Hmm?”

“You hadn’t spoken a word to me since I moved in. Our first real conversation was just a few hours ago. Now you’re sitting here sharing your alcohol and eating pizza with me. You just made a joke about having _sex_ with me. What happened? What did I miss?”

Phil wanted to lie. Say something along the lines of “I’m just getting use to you.” Usually he wasn’t a liar. The thought of lying made him feel like the dirty politicians he hated. Why become something you hated just because the truth was harder to say?

“You seem like the type of person who always has a comeback. So where is it?” Dan said in a lightly harsh tone.

“So, here’s the thing,” Phil grabbed his whiskey and drank; this time the liquor went down without a hitch, “I’m an observant person. You speak with your Nan every other evening. I may seem like I’m not paying attention to you, but I hear what you say. I know you’ve been lying to her about me. I’m not kind to you, or I haven’t been. I’ve been a real ass. But your poor Nan thinks you actually enjoy living with me.” The room had started becoming wobbly after his last shot so he used the spinning room as an excuse to avoid Dan’s stare.

Seconds passed with only the faint sound of music coming from Dan’s laptop filling the room.

“I’m sorry I was an ass. I can’t promise that I won’t ever be a jerk again, but I’ll try harder to contain it. You know, so you’re not lying to your Nan.” Phil really needed to work on his humility. Dan’s silence was killing him.

“Do you, umm, do you want to play Mario Kart?” Dan all but whispered.

“What?” Phil looked up to see Dan smiling down at his feet.

The boy looked up. “I have a Switch. And Mario Kart. D’you wanna play?”

“You mean, do you want to eat my digital dust? Because you sure as hell won’t beat me. I’m a Mario Kart _master_.”

“Bet.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Fuck…fuck…fucking stop with that blue shell _bullshit_!”

“Yes! First place again!” Dan jumped out of his chair and began a victory walk around the room, stumbling here and there over nothing but his own feet.

“You fucking suck!” Phil tossed his controller on his bed with more force than he intended.

“You’re the one that keeps coming in second.” A slurred cackle left Dan’s mouth as he came up behind Phil’s chair and started to shake it.

“Fuck you.”

Phil felt his chair go back a bit and warm breath flowed over his neck.

“Didn’t we already discuss this?”

They were drunk. Way too drunk to be alone. Feelings that Phil hadn’t felt for quite some time had resurfaced. Maybe it was the alcohol but the way Dan had been looking at him made his insides squirm like he was a teenager again. The more whiskey they consumed the lower their walls became.

“Don't you have class in the morning?” Phil asked tilting his head back to glance at Dan whose face was closer to his than expected.

“Yeah, and I have to go sit next to my dick head of a partner.”

“Partner? You haven’t even taken me to dinner yet!”

“I just assumed you were a ‘fuck on the first date' type of guy and I’m saving myself for someone special.” Dan laughed as he stumbled backwards onto his bed.

“Wait, you’ve never had sex?” Phil rolled the chair over to the side of the bed.

“I was joking. I’ve had sex once or twice. With a girl though.” Dan said to the ceiling.

“I had sex with a girl once too.” Phil thought about staying in the chair but the thought of laying next to Dan was enticing. So that’s what he did. They laid beside each other staring at the ceiling while their legs dangled over the edge.

“And how did that go?”

“Her boobs were distracting. They wouldn’t stop…" Phil flipped his hands in the air.

“Boobs are nice.”

“I'll agree to disagree.”

“Not boobs are nice too though.”

Phil turned his head to look at the mop of brown curls over the attractive flushed face. “Do you like guys?”

“Well,” Dan turned to look at Phil, “I think you’re attractive.”

A wave of nerves fluttered through Phil’s chest. “Oh yeah?”

  
His eyes shut before he sighed, “Yeah.”

Without a response, Phil let Dan's confession sit in the atmosphere. A minute went by before a small snore came from Dan’s nose.

Before Phil could put too much thought into what his night had turned into, he flipped out the lights, shut off the Switch and dropped onto his own bed. Within seconds, Phil was out.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning Phil heard Dan's alarm ring. Phil would have hit the snooze, but Dan didn’t. He never did. It felt like a monkey was banging giant cymbals together and Phil's head was between them. The thought of skipping class was appealing, and so was the thought of avoiding Dan. Faint memories of the night before flooded Phil’s mind as he listened to the sound of the shower running. It wasn’t like he really had a choice though. Sometimes life sucked and he just had to accept his fate. He had to come to terms with the fact that most of what Dan had said to him last night, and the way he was acting, was the alcohol speaking.

Phil dragged himself out of bed, stripped down to his pants, and began the search for clean clothes. The shower had turned off making Phil pick up his pace. Usually Dan got dressed in the bathroom, which was why Phil was surprised when Dan stepped out, just a towel hanging from his waist.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Phil replied and acknowledged the awkwardness of the situation.

“Forgot my clothes.” Dan pointed to his dresser but his eyes raked over Phil making him feel unusually timid. Why did Dan have to do this to him?

“Sorry.” Dan mumbled before quickly grabbing his clothes and returning to the bathroom.

“Jesus Christ.” Phil whispered to no one before getting dressed and leaving before Dan could reemerge.

The next few days Phil lost himself in school and work. He tried as hard as he could to ignore the thoughts and feelings of Dan that painted him as anything other than his peer. Nothing good would come of trying to indulge in fantasies. Everything seemed to be normal. Or at least as normal as they could get.

They worked on their project, in the evenings that Dan didn’t have to study with Oliver. Most the time jokes were set aside, but Phil had to admit that Dan was becoming quite good at comebacks when Phil would start to be an ass, maybe even better than Charlotte. Which piqued his interest more than he wanted.

“Can you not play that shitty pop music? It’s a danger to my mental health.” Phil announced from his bed one evening while he was proof reading Dan’s rough draft of their second article.

“Katy Perry is all it takes to get you sent away?” The music grew a little louder.

Phil looked up from his laptop to see Dan at his desk looking at him out of the corner or his eye, a cheeky grin playing on his lips.

“Oh pretty, pretty please with a _fucking_ cherry on top?”

“Is ‘I Kissed A Girl’ too hetero for you? Should I play some Queen? Maybe some Elton John?”

“That’s it.” Phil set his laptop down and started to stand.

“Okay, okay! You can have it.”

“Thank you kindly.” Phil switched on Clash just as Katy Perry sang her last note.

A few days turned into a few weeks and it seemed as if they both had fallen into a routine that worked for both of them. They took turns ordering dinner on certain nights and had their bathroom times laid out so neither of them were caught not having it when needed. Dan even started doing both of their laundry if Phil agreed to put it away and start using the dirty basket. Phil was never one for the same old shit day in and day out, but Dan almost made it enjoyable.

The only thing Phil couldn’t stand, was Oliver. Dan was so oblivious to the flirting and teasing that Phil almost felt bad for the redhead. As long as it all kept going over Dan’s head, Phil didn’t care. Even if Dan did flirt back, why should Phil care? Dan wasn’t his boyfriend. Phil told himself he didn’t care. Because he didn’t.

“We still haven’t gone out for dinner, Dan.” Phil overheard Oliver saying one evening. Most nights when Oliver was there Phil would leave or put his headphones on and watch YouTube. Sometimes he pretended to be listening to something and eavesdrop. That’s what he had been doing when he heard Oliver try once again to ask Dan out. If there was one thing that was nearly impossible to do, was to break Dan of his routines. _He spends dinner with me fuck head._

“Actually, I’m free tonight. And I have some extra cash. We can go grab something to eat after this.”

It took everything in Phil’s power not to interject. They didn’t know he was listening. And who cares if they go out? _You do_.

Phil didn’t want to listen anymore. He turned up his angry music, closed his eyes, and tried to feel something different. After half a dozen songs Phil felt a tap on his shoulder.

“What.” He took out an earbud.

“I’m going to eat dinner with Oliver tonight.” Dan said from beside the bed.

“Okay? I’m not your keeper. I don’t give a shit what you do.”

“Jeez, fine. Here’s your fucking noodles I was going to make for you tonight. You’re welcome. And don’t wait up.”

A Styrofoam cup bounced off Phil’s chest. “Watch your mouth. Asshole.” Phil mumbled under his breath.

Phil didn’t want to admit it, but he was angry. Dinner with Dan was something that he looked forward to, especially since he only had a few nights a week where he didn’t work and they could catch up, talk about school or family life or work. What did Dan even see that guy anyway? Maybe he just saw it as a friend type of thing and not the way Phil was looking at the situation. On the other hand, Dan _knew_ Oliver was flirting with him. Phil told him so. Even if he didn’t see it in the moment, Dan _knew_.

The next two hours Phil found himself trying every social media, every phone app, every Switch game to distract him. Nothing was working. All he could think about was Dan on a stupid date with stupid Oliver. Eventually Phil decided to go downstairs and use the common room microwaves to heat up his noodles. Dan was always doing little things like buying snacks for him. Phil should have probably thanked the boy for dinner.

Eating by himself felt wrong. He hated how much he had grown to enjoy Dan’s company. What would he do when they weren’t room-mates anymore? Worse, what would happen if Dan actually started dating Oliver? Phil _really_ didn’t want to think about that.

The noodles brought him less joy than expected. His stomach was full but his chest was tight. Finally, he decided to toss his trash and head back upstairs and wait for Dan to get home so he could see how the date went. As he turned the corner at the top of the stairs, down the hall Phil could see Dan and Oliver standing too close together in front of their dorm.

Before Phil could decide whether he should go back down the stairs and wait, or interrupt their conversation, Oliver took a step towards Dan and kissed him. Was Phil really going to be an ass and disturb them now? He started walking just as Dan’s hands went up and pushed the other boy back, his face turned up in a scowl. Phil was about to celebrate when Oliver took his hand and grabbed the mop of curls at the crown of Dan’s head and forced their lips together again, all while Dan’s hands were up in the air.

A furry like nothing else Phil had ever felt before consumed his body. All he could see was red.

“Excuse the _fuck_ out of you!” Phil bellowed as he ran towards the two.

Just as Dan fought Oliver away again, Phil was on top of him, cranking his arm back and releasing it like a sling shot. Over. And over. And over until Phil realized that the red he was seeing now was spilling from Oliver’s nose.

“You don’t treat _anyone_ like that!” Phil heard himself yell although it sounded as if he was down the hall from his own voice. “Especially not my fucking friends! Especially not my fucking Dan!” Phil grabbed the front of Oliver’s shirt and pulled him up just to shove him towards the stairs. “If I ever catch you in this building again, I’ll make sure you end up going to A&E in a god damn ambulance.”

The boy didn’t look back once before running for the stairs and disappearing. Phil’s breathing was so heavy he felt light headed.

“Are you okay?” Phil turned to look at Dan.

With wide eyes and flushed face Dan stuttered, “Y-yeah! Are you? Your hand…"

Phil examined his right hand which now throbbed and was covered in blood. “It’s not my blood. It's fine.”

“It’s late. I’m gonna go to bed.” Dan whispered before going into their room, Phil on his tail.

Without saying anything else, they both got ready for bed, a noticeable silence in the air. Phil washed his hand clean, watching the diluted blood wash down the drain. He wanted to ask what Dan was thinking, but Phil was scared. He wanted to wrap Dan up his arms and tell him everything was going to be okay. Which wasn’t true but Phil wanted Dan to feel safe and cared for. Phil would tell Dan every lie if that meant the boy's happiness. Though he knew he couldn’t do that.

The lights were off when Phil left the bathroom. He crawled into bed wondering if he should try and say something to the boy laying across the room. Phil laid there for what felt like forever, sleep never coming to him while he stared at the dark outline of their furniture.

“Phil?” a small voice came from the dark.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

A minute passed before Dan spoke again. “Do you like me?

“Don’t be daft. Your kind and thoughtful. You’ve become a lot more upfront in the past few weeks. I like you Dan.”

More silence followed. “You called me _your_ Dan.”

Now it was Phil’s turn to be quiet.

“Will you lay over here. With me. Just for tonight?”

Butterflies swarmed in Phil's stomach. God, he hadn’t had butterflies since he was a kid. “If you want."

With more speed than Phil would have liked to admit, he stumbled through the darkness and found Dan's bed. He crawled in the cramped bed, his legs pressing up against Dan's as Dan twisted his arms up with Phil’s.

As Phil’s eyes adjusted, he could see Dan looking back at him.

“I like you more than I care to admit.” Phil whispered, trying to find courage to just tell Dan how he really felt. 

“Me too. You’re messy. You’re an ass. But you’re also one of the nicest assholes I’ve ever met. I can tell you care about me.”

“Well I did just knock out that perv for you.” Phil chuckled.

“I really didn’t want to go out with him.”

“So why did you?”

“I thought you might get jealous. I see the way you look at me. But you never try to make a move.”

“It worked. If you’re with me then I know you’re safe.”

“If you’re with me then I know I’m safe.”

“You're not usually my type, Dan. But I really like you. You make me feel…different.”

Dan began to move, Phil thought he was getting comfortable but then his face closed the distance between them and they were kissing.

Shock filled Phil at first, until he decided to say _fuck it_ and embrace the moment, gently grabbing the boy’s tight curls. Everything would change between the two after this, but between the legs intertwined with his and the warm pressure of soft lips, Phil didn’t care. He would do as he always had and embrace the chaos of being connected to someone who was his polar opposite, no matter what kind of anarchy would come of it.

 

* * *

 

  
“Does this look straight to you?”

“No, considering what you looked like in bed last night.”

“Phil! The sign! Are my words straight.”

“ _No means no_. Yeah. Looks good.” Phil stood over Dan sat at his desk, as he put the finishing touches on the piece of cardboard.

“Really?” The boy’s face was unsure.

“Stop being such a perfectionist.” Phil leaned down and kissed Dan on the cheek before sitting down on Dan's unmade bed to gather his cameras.

“I know, I know. We're going to get lost in the crowd anyway. How many people are going to this protest?”

“I heard a couple thousand. I hope to get some good shots” Phil held his polaroid up and snapped a picture of his boyfriend.

“Phil! You already have a million pictures of me. Stop.”

“I will never have enough pictures of you.” Phil laughed as he shook it until the picture developed into yet another perfect moment captured to add to the ever growing collection.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
